choose your poison

2011-11-20T03:36:00.001-08:00

2011-11-02T15:45:00.000-07:00

it's about time

2011-05-01T21:55:00.000-07:00

i can't believe he was basically hiding in plain sight. july 4th is going to be crazy.

in other news,

1 project
1 presentation
2 quizzes
4 finals
18 days until california

uhh

2011-04-27T06:39:00.001-07:00

mediocre. mediocracy. too much of it lately

it's that time of the year again- midterms
I just wanna feel my limbs again!!

i keep seeing everything as a social institution lately and it's annoying as hell.
lots of thoughts lately- oh, yknow, just a little old me being all profound and shit
words are so inadequate. Not for just specific feelings, but for everything. Like, who decided that certain syllables and letters will encompass my experiences, my day, my feelings, and my thoughts? wtf?! if experiences are so personal to one, then how did we all decide as a collective mass, that we'll all agree to agree that the letters h a p p y and the syllables of ha ppy will mean one thing? ridiculous. Except how else would you communicate?!?!?!

religion is such a fascinating institution that I have a hard time getting over it. When things are just kind of interesting, I get over it real fast. Like, schools. It's interesting that people today feel so fucking compelled to learn so much- do they really like learning? maybe. but for most, probably not. But i understand the institution of higher learning, so I get over that.
But religion is in its whole other playing field. and I will probably never understand it, so i'll probably never get over it.

and that's it for my procrastination until 3!

love,
a-real-adult-yoona

2011-04-14T15:59:00.000-07:00

fuck, I don't want to watch sabo die too.

2011-04-04T23:02:00.001-07:00

2011-03-29T03:05:00.001-07:00

2011-02-06T13:46:00.000-08:00

we are born and die alone.
so why the hell do we care so much about what other people think?
why do we let our worth be defined by what someone else thinks?
live for yourself and to anyone who has a problem with that, fuck them.
suck it suckers.

life

2011-02-03T22:02:00.000-08:00

it's as if you forget it's happening until you stop to think about it in a little more than two years i'll have graduated and be onto the next stage of my life which scares me shitless because it only gets harder from here and who knows what i'll be doing or want to be doing or think about doing and will i be happy doing whatever i'm doing and will i regret not doing something else and if that something else may have been more lucrative if i could do it all over again would i and is it sad if i say yes sometimes i think about the things i regret the time i've wasted the time im wasting now and if i had been doing something else in that time how different would it all be how different would my life be if i had made different choices if i had decided to do this or that or decide to be there instead of here and stuff sort of off topic but i think people complain too much about their lives and forget to be thankful for what they have some people are incredibly ungrateful and myopic and are stuck in the now then there are some people who like to hear their own voice like engineers who think they're the shit even though they're really not and just better at math and stuff like really we all have tests and stuff what makes yours any different and the same thing with people complaining about midterms and finals i mean you go to college what did you honestly expect i mean we go to college to learn not that i dont complain and stuff but taking tests is sort of fun when you're actually doing the test and know all the answers and stuff and when you dont the satisfaction of figuring it out and i guess it sucks when you don't but everything is a learning experience and you really do learn from your mistakes i guess the only part i don't like is the anticipation but once you get there and are sitting with it in front of you i always feel so serene because nothing else matters except for you and the test and all your hard work and effort pays off hopefully and you know thats really all you can ask for when it comes to that sort of stuff you do your best and sometimes your best isn't good enough and if it isn't you just try harder and spend more time next time and i really should learn to not get so hung up on certain things that really in the big picture are quite small i wonder where we'll all be in 20 30 years will there ever be peace in the middle east this is why i don't like the middle east because they are always fighting about something are they genetically hardwired to be more belligerent and violent and the way they treat each other and other people and women is simply horrible i really am thankful i live in the us where i have so many freedom and rights and im also glad im not a woman living there not that theres anything wrong with being woman because im not misogynistic or anything but i feel so sorry for them i read this quote from some egyptian who basically said something long the lines that he didn't care who takes over the government as long as they upheld the old arabic laws which basically restricts freedom of religion and women's rights i mean how freaking selfish is that and i also think the us should try and get more involved even though the us is always getting involved in things it really shouldn't be but egypt is one of the biggest countries in the middle east and next to so many important and unstable countries and if bad people take it over it can't be good for the already super fucked up region im also so incredibly thankful for my parents who love me so much and sacrifice so much for me without ever asking for anything in return and who always support me no matter what it may be and im so fortunate to have grown up in the family that i did which makes me very homesick but i really hope that i can be rich and have a good career so i can start to pay back my parents even though what they have done is priceless its also chinese new years and i always liked chinese new years at home even though i generally dont care that much about my culture and heritage and i think one day i want to have kids because kids are kind of like pets but harder to take care of and cost more money but sometimes i think kids are only cute when they're young and when they grow up and start to think about things and have their opinion they get annoying especially because kids are generally quite selfish and only think about themselves but of course they are plenty of people who are also like that and are super selfish and only think about themselves and especially i think sometimes guys who think they're hella entitled to certain things because of they way they were raised especially in families where its like the kid can do no harm and everyone is subservient and like only exist to fill their needs i hate those motherfuckers and there are a lot of those people and i hate people who think they can get anything if they have enough money another thing that is sort of surreal to me is what it wold be like to be a different person with different perspectives and thoughts and life experiences and how we all see the world so differently even though we're all living in the same one life is short i hope i dont waste it and i hope i dont wake up one day wondering how the hell i got there and why im there and not somewhere else i guess i just hope i dont wake up some day full of regrets regrets for what i could have done differently

to look life in the face, always, to look life in the face and to know it for what it is. at last to know it, to love it for what it is, and then, to put it away. - the hours

avoiding stress

2011-01-30T11:20:00.001-08:00

avoiding stress=1. avoiding work 2. avoiding procrastination
1. avoiding work=watching tv= a. feeling shitty about avoiding work b. never doing the work and saying, fuckithahaha!
a.feeling shitty about avoiding work=coming back to a pile of shit with less time to do it.
b. never doing the work and saying fuckithahaha!=being fucked for life.

2. avoiding procrastination=doing work=not sleeping= a. being grumpy and stressed b. feeling accomplished and being a happy and positive person in general.

i'm definitely NOT 2b. more like 1a. and failing at 2a.

i'm not stressed out and cranky or anything. just hella positive, yo!

zomggg I LOVEEE midterms <3 <3 <3 <3 <3333

WHO KNOWS HOW TO CHANGE THIS BACKGROUND? SOMEONE GET ON IT PLEASE. BLACK IS NO LONGER COOL.

I am not heartless

2011-01-14T22:48:00.001-08:00

When we see people who are alone, almost unwillingly, we become sorry for them. Could this empathy be evolutionary in nature? Evolution has shaped us, without knowing, to put passing on our genes as a necessity. Do we pity people who are alone because they will never have that opportunity? No. I don't think evolution would have selected for empathy. Evolutionarily-wise, shouldn't we be happy when someone is alone because then they are not our competition? Why aren't we happy when we see people who are maimed or diseased? Aren't they too, in some ways, not going to prosper as well in this gene driven world? Are people who are lonely, driven to suicide because they will never have that opportunity? With no contribution to the gene pool, taking themselves out of the equation, like some twisted form of kin selection, would allow others to proliferate, no? When disabled, do we become depressed because somewhere, millions of years ago, it was hardwired into us that disabilities were not conducive to prospering? What is the origin of empathy?

Are thoughts of suicide a result of millions of years of gentle manipulation to our genetic material? After all, psychologically imbalanced people who commit suicide are preventing themselves from passing on defective genes (Of course, not all mental diseases are genetically based). Are suicidal instincts therefore, one of nature's ways of tidying up the gene pool?

Don't worry.I am not a psychopath. I realize this is highly insensitive. Obviously, I haven't really thought this through;these were just some thoughts I had today. Please don't take this seriously.

Happy birthday to me!

2011-01-13T00:04:00.001-08:00

and Goodbye childhood.

I've been twenty for two hours now. My family called when everyone was trying to sing to me, so I didn't really get to talk. I want to call home but I think I'll probably end up crying on the phone so I probably shouldn't. I'd be so ostracized if anyone read this, but the only sure thing that I know won't change is my family. The friends that I make here may come and go, and I may love them so obnoxiously right now, but who knows if I still will the next month? In fifteen years? I should've talked to my family on the phone and made my friends wait. Not so great decisions.

The saddest and the hardest part about getting older is accepting the way things are. Starting with I'm not going to be able to be fed and babied by my parents forever, and that there will always be ups and downs in my life, and that not everything lasts forever and that growing up means parting with things that don't belong in your adulthood life. But on the upside, now that I am twenty, there is only one more year to wait until I can go to Elephant Bar and legally order a drink, and.....
and....
and......
and....
AND...?

I'm sure I'll get wiser.
and hopefully a little smarter.
I wish I was home and my mom made me seaweed soup for my birthday. Not that the first two hours of my birthday haven't been great. But I miss what I'm used to. I can't tell if I'm just bummed because I miss home or because I'm an old fartbag.

Ok. As a twenty year old, I'd like to be less arrogant, selfish, and judgmental. I'd like to be more caring, warm, and gracious. I'll leave my foolish, arrogant, judgmental parts of me (not all of it, of course) and try to act more grownup.

Updates:
My life was consumed by recruitment for the past week and two days and if there's one thing that I learned, it's that this world is a very judgmental and superficial and scary scary place where you need to protect your mental health.

My search for my perfect summer internship has not ended.

and lastly, I continue to be stunned by the crazies that are in this world. By crazies, I mean the people delusional with whatever the media and the government and other institutions have created. And that last sentence was totally not what my more grownup self should be saying.

But then again, who knows what grownups should be saying?!

we are so vain

2010-07-13T12:26:00.001-07:00

i have no idea how to cite....

Q. SO BIG BRAINS ARE NOT ALWAYS AN ADVANTAGE?

A. Bigger is better if you want to produce enormously complicated behavior. But in evolution, brains evolve by selection. There always is pressure on animals to produce behaviors for as little energy as possible. And that means for many animals, smaller brains are better because they won’t waste energy.

You know, there’s this pervasive idea in biology that I think is wrong. It goes: we humans are at the pinnacle of the evolutionary tree, and as you get up that tree, brain size must get bigger. But a fly is just as evolved as a human. It’s just evolved to a different niche.

In fact, in evolution there’s no drive towards bigger brains. It’s perfectly possible that under the right circumstances, you could get animals evolving small brains. Indeed, on some islands, where there’s reduced flora and fauna, you’ll see smaller versions of mainland species. I would argue that their brain size has been reduced because it saves energy, which permits them to survive in situations of scarcity. They also might not need big brains because they don’t have natural predators on the islands—and don’t have to be as smart because there’s nothing to avoid.

also...

-- there’s this idea that nature moves inexorably towards bigger brains and some people find it very difficult to imagine why if you evolved a big brain — as ancient hominids had — why you would ever go back to a smaller one. But evolution doesn’t really care. This smaller brain could have helped this species survive better than an energy-consuming bigger one. The insects have shown us this.

im going to cite in mla format...just in case.

Dreifus, Claudia. "A Conservation with Jeremy Niven- Insects as Model Animals." New York Times 13 July 2010. Web. 13 July 2010.

another four more years...

2010-07-11T21:40:00.001-07:00

In my perfect world, it would not be a stretch whatsoever for me to go to the 2014 Brazil World Cup, but I doubt that my life would be anything near perfect in four years. Not that I'd want it to be, because what fun would "perfect" life be? But going to Brazil part of that perfectness would still be nice.

It was really weird cause I ran home after lunch today to catch the last six minutes of the final game or so and then I had this thought that all of those players looked so dumb chasing after the ball. And that was really weird cause I always thought that was the most beautiful part of the sport- everyone giving their all to the one small ball. But then, that seemed really really dumb today. And during the final game that only happens every four years, out of all games possible. It was a weird feeling.

Anyway. Grammatically, it's correct to say This is she, on the phone when someone asks for you right? Not This is her. That's what I say anyway but a telemarketer on the phone told me that it sounded wrong. What the hell does she know, she's obviously a terrible telemarketer because I'm not going to get your stupid credit card if you tell me that my grammar is incorrect. I told her that she should go look it up cause I was pretty sure that I was a hundred percent right and I was going to tell her other things but decided to let the inner meanness just simmer. And I hung up telling her that I was busy, ggnore. Did she understand that acronym? Who cares?! She said This is her is grammatically correct. I win!

untitled

2010-07-10T00:47:00.001-07:00

do we need pain to feel alive?

living

2010-06-29T20:21:00.000-07:00

Only after considering creating a tumblr for myself did I remember that I already had a blog- which looks a lot different than I remember it to look. And then I remembered that I also had a livejournal, a xanga, a linkedin, a fb, and a twitter account, all of which (except for twitter which is a really great newsfeed) I fail to utilize. Sooo, I didn't make a tumblr. And instead came here and was really surprised to see that Spencer and Steven had so regularly (or at least more so than me) blogged here. I guess I was the only one who never had bursts of creative thoughts at school.

So I looked through the older posts, and what?! Vegetarianism?!

How noble, but who the hell are you trying to kid...

Being home is so great and I mourn the three weeks, almost a month now I think, that have flown by. Those were good times, but my summer is flying by too quickly and I don't like it one bit. Without a real job, or internship, I feel like a big failure this summer, but at least it has given me a lot of time to just enjoy home. I forgot how nice it was to just sit in my own room and read for my own pleasure, at my own leisure! After being influenced by so many..."bad things" for the lack of a better description, having the freedom to hide myself away at home has been such a relief. For example, I have not bet any money on a single World Cup game and I don't plan on it either- although I would bet anyone 20 that Germany will beat Argentina 2-1. Oh, and I've had so many chances to be grateful for the California sun again, another luxury that I'd forgotten.

So I end with this video of an Asian beatboxer because he's really cool and appropriate for my return to blogger! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pYnZxjBY6W8 Heehe!

2010-06-22T14:31:00.000-07:00

sooty falcon chicks are so cute

what good am i?

2010-06-18T23:58:00.000-07:00

when writing a facebook status, should the name be included and acknowledged grammatically?

For example,
"First Last am going home tomorrow!!!!"

am i missing something or are these people just stupid?
i mean clearly, it is supposed to be in 3rd person.

from shutter island and sytycd

very interesting that edward daniels in trying to find andrew laeddis, was essentially trying to find himself.
AND when dr. cawley asks daniels what he wants to drink, he asks "what's your poison?"

what WHAT

brood parasite

2010-06-09T00:52:00.000-07:00

interesting read

2010-05-16T14:29:00.000-07:00

prokofiev- piano concerto no.2
mussorgsky- pictures at an exhibition
ravel- gaspard de la nuit

this is real music.

cool

2010-05-08T16:59:00.001-07:00

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/8660940.stm

7.27.2010

2010-05-04T16:22:00.001-07:00

when you run out of questions, you don't run out of answers. you just run out of hope.

starcraft II july 27th!
now where is my fucking diablo III?

so much better than himym a.k.a. the boringest shit ever.

3 weeks

2010-05-01T14:35:00.000-07:00

counting down

1 week of instruction
1 prelim
1 chem lab report
1 anthr paper
5 finals
21 more days of freshmen year

damn that was fast.

doppler effect!

2010-04-30T18:50:00.000-07:00

i got to ride in an ambulance today!
actually it wasn't that great considering my arms were numb and my head felt like athena was about to come out.
that and i was sweating profusely.
i guess this is what happens when all i eat is a strawberry yogurt.

peace

did you know shinigamis eat only apples?

2010-04-28T20:08:00.001-07:00

when peeling apples with a knife, move the apple and not the knife.

pos

2010-04-16T13:06:00.001-07:00

today has been a horrible day
not only did i find out i forgot to answer a question on a midterm, but i also lost a gigantic amount of points on one of my lab reports.
oh
and don't forget. my computer fucking broke.
piece of shit.

2010-04-11T00:39:00.000-07:00

this pen is amazing
and...7 days of vegetarianism are over

day 7

2010-04-08T21:34:00.000-07:00

vegetable fried rice
vegetable lo mein
mac and cheese
yams
stir fried tofu
grapefruit juice
tapioca pudding
tofu soup
grilled cheese sandwich w/tomato
pmt

day 6

2010-04-07T20:13:00.000-07:00

rice
kimchi
stir-fried tofu
grape, cranberry, apple juice
soft serve vanilla ice cream with chocolate sprinkles
salad w/honey mustard dressing
grilled cheese sandwich with tomato
salt potatoes
mac and cheese
fruit snacks
pears

day 5

2010-04-06T20:15:00.001-07:00

rice congee
lemon jello
rice and vegetable soup
cheese pizza
orange and grape juice
pepsi
fruit snacks
chocolate pocky
anka crackers

:D

2010-04-05T19:27:00.001-07:00

day 4

2010-04-05T16:46:00.000-07:00

salad w/ honey mustard dressing
cheese ravioli w/ tomato sauce
broccoli w/ hollandaise sauce
french fries
rice pudding
pears
rice congee
rice
tofu stir fry
blueberry bagel w/ cream cheese and strawberry jam
grilled cheese sandwich w/tomato
pmt
cranberry and grape juice

day 3

2010-04-04T19:05:00.000-07:00

vegetable eggrolls
shrimp shumai
rice dumplings
honeydew
strawberries
orange, apple, grape juice
fruit snacks
corn muffin
garlic toasted cheese sandwich
salad w/honey mustard dressing
pineapple
strawberry yogurt
pears

day 2

2010-04-03T18:21:00.001-07:00

salad w/ thousand island dressing
pasta w/marinara sauce
gnocchi with rose sauce
cheese quesadilla with guacamole and sour cream
herb roasted vegetables
fruit snacks
chips
pmt
berry white cheesecake
tuxedo mousse cheesecake

day 1

2010-04-03T02:03:00.000-07:00

fruit snacks
scarlet harlot (garlic bread, cheese, mushrooms, tomato, onion)
pizza sub (bread, pizza sauce, mushrooms, peppers, onions)
french fries
strawberry and peach yogurt
water
pepsi

yeeah boy

2010-03-26T16:06:00.000-07:00

pet peeves

2010-02-11T20:31:00.001-08:00

1. nail biting
2. people who say they're "going down to (enter a place)" when geographically, they're going up
3. slush
4. when the pages of a notebook smear each other
5. that only one side of a spiral-bound notebook is comfortable to write on
6. when people take up the whole road by themselves and it's impossible to get past them; not to mention, they're walking slowly as if it's not cold. some of us are cold...and not as fat.
7. overcooked eggs
8. people who ask stupid questions
9. people who think they know what they're talking about when they don't
10. wet socks
11. seeing people whose jeans are too long; as a result, they step on the ends of the jeans. I guess this is semi-acceptable because guess what, there's slush everywhere! Have fun looking like a dog pissed on your leg. oh, and i hope you're cold.

fuck you cit

2009-09-21T22:51:00.000-07:00

the other day i realized i am going to hell
here is the rundown

so in my chem lecture supplement thing on sunday, we were going over balancing redox reactions.
now, my professor person is one of the nicest people i have ever met so i feel really bad that he is morbidly obese. this is not the bad part. anyway. the reaction we were balancing happened to have really big numbers and he was fudging up the numbers.

p: oh haha im not used to seeing such large numbers.
s: (in my head) really? not even on the scale?

im a bad person.

i went over my internet usage today

i realized i am definitely going to get diabetes because i consume sugar like a fat kid

i also had a second lunch.

it bothers me that my keyboard does not have a del button, a home button, and an end button.

here we go!

2009-09-14T16:49:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow, I'll get up at 6:30 a.m. and move in to what I'll call "home" for the next three months at the most. It sounds like such a not big deal. So why am I being so freaking sentimental?

I'm not sure.

I'm sitting in my hotel right now, watching the Mythbusters, one of my ULTIMATE favorite shows ever. It's nice to have so many choices of what to watch.

We've spent a lot of money getting my dorm stuff and what not, and now, I'm getting very excited now. Hella NU freshmen were doing their shopping too and I ran into the girl living like three doors away from me in the bus on the way to the car rental. :) It's been a lot of fun hanging with my mom and doing shopping and stuff, but also a lot of walking. The lack of sleep during the last days at home, packing and doing nothing, is now catching up on me though. And these zits on my face are not ready to make their first-day impressions. blah.

I think that I am this sentimental because this is the moment when I become independent, away from my family. This is the point at which I have to start over and make new friends, find my niche, BE HEALTHY (so important!!!!!), and still be me.

:( I will miss my mom.

and my brother and dad, of course. But my mom mostly :P

Three months fly by though. And it will be Christmas, the best time of the year, in no time. SUCH MIXED FEELINGS! I hope that plasticferocity stays updated frequently <3

miss y'all!!!

im back! first post after a long hiatus

2009-07-19T01:21:00.001-07:00

so summer has been trudging along and i must say i am quite excited for school to start. this summer has been fun (mostly boring) but still overall pretty relaxing. no more of that high school stress...except for maybe finding a job (impossible), "pre-studying" (as my parents like to call it), and tutoring (not fun at all). but yeah. so far so good. i guess the only thing that really sucks is that everyone is here one minute and gone the next; if only everyone could have stayed here for the entire summer. but i suppose even then there wouldn't have been enough time. we would all still be thirsting for more time to hang out with each other wouldn't we. yep.

this summer has also been a summer of many firsts.

1. went to a movie on the premier night
2. turned 18
3. had a semi-legit (but not really) job/ actually made some money
4. graduated high school (this one is pretty lame)
5. watched two cats interact
6. had free chipotle
7. ordered a new laptop (more on this later)
8. went on a semi-legit hiking trip at night
9. returning back to plasticferocity

....
this list is actually kind of sad. i take back some of what i said before about this summer being somewhat fun.

anyway, two days ago i ordered a new laptop and i must say ITS ABOUT FREAKING TIME. there are so many things about my computer that just are absolutely ridiculous.

1. my desktop computer is a grandpa
it's so old they don't even make the model anymore

2. 256 mb of ram
this equates to having one firefox window open....and nothing else. if that window happens to contain something like restaurant city, my computer likes to incessantly send me reminders that a script on the page has stopped due to low memory. heaven forbid i have gmail open with restaurant city.

3. blue screens of death
enough said about that.

4. my computer is possessed.
i don't know by what but my computer likes to play sounds, like advertisements or music, when there's nothing opened. it's like rachel's old cellphone which was possessed by a dead squirrel. is it creepy? a little. am i scared? not really.

5. opening my computer
it takes 10-20 minutes to start up. sometimes when i press the power button the computer opens but nothing happens. my computer likes to make it seem like it's going to work and then give up halfway. its a quitter...and a tease.

6. it's really really ugly
part of the outer casing of the desktop has fallen off and i'm to lazy to reattach it. that and reparo doesn't work. it's also really dusty.

7. viruses
i think my computer might have some viruses.....maybe. quite possibly? most likely. add on the fact that my so called security programs don't do shit? i'd say it's about time to upgrade wouldn't you?

8.it's a pc
macs ftw!

so yes. i'm super stoked for a new laptop which should come before the end of the month!

this entry has two lists in it. that's also a first for me.

i think i'll talk about hp6 for my next post. be excited!

finally, why the fuck do i still play freaking restaurant city??????

this should have happened 9 days ago.

2009-07-19T01:17:00.000-07:00

i am legal. that means pros/cons time.

pros.
i can legally drive people (never going to happen unfortunately).
i am an "adult".
i can vote!
college i suppose.

cons.
the draft.
smoking is bad for your health.
i am an "adult".

fuck the draft. it scares me shitless but i have faith that obama won't make america go to war...at least not in his first term.

recently i discussed my ever-present inferiority complex with fellow sufferer rachel cho. if not obvious enough, we are outshadowed by far more stellar siblings.

we realized in our short discussion what doesn't kill us doesn't make us any stronger. inferiority complexes are by design, a motivational tool. it honestly does make you try harder but the outcome (all too often) makes you wonder why you even tried in the first place. while this complex doesn't make me any less of a human being [this just now, was an example of overcompensation], it certainly does its part in making me feel/think i am. in case you were wondering, inferiority complexes also manifest as an excessive need for attention, criticism of others, and anxiety.

shamWOW, it'll make you say WOW everytime.

i have realized i get sleep paralysis quite often. it is not a pleasant feeling.
on a happier note, i am getting my computer soon!

i think my blog posts are very shallow and disorientated, much like yearbook signings. my apologies for plaguing your mind with my trashy ramblings. perhaps you should read steven's post which probably lies above mine. does anyone else see this persistent image? i assure you, it is much better. just like his research paper.

multitude of sighs.
gabe chen now says this.
spencer:+1

its a losing battle isn't it.
self-overcompensation. (did this need a dash?)

paper

2009-07-14T04:30:00.000-07:00

oh by the way, i threw out my realy big stcsack of scaratch papers.

so now i jsut use newa paper.

lmoa

jetlag

2009-07-14T04:24:00.001-07:00

iamexperiencingcrazyjeglagt

iwatchedboysoverflower

ilove my mac and i think korean dramas are exptraemely unheality and boysoverflowerisa really bad drama and idk why i am watching it.

too much conan i didn ot think idever say tht

omg my sleep is sooffa;slkdjf

canwe all hangoutsoon?!

oh and all hp ticketrts werwe sold out so yoonalee is not ogingo on openicn gnighgt anyomore.\a

;lkbjk

hahha sucha bad drama but such hot voys ololllll

UGH

2009-07-09T18:18:00.000-07:00

UGH I wrote this crazy long, reflective post about my trip but I stupidly pressed the back button and lost everything. UGH!

maybe if I feel upto it, I'll post when I get back home. UGH!

boring.

2009-06-14T20:32:00.000-07:00

high school is over and my life is now empty with nothing to study/work for.
can't wait to get my paper back.
watched the changeling and american beauty. american beauty was pretty beautiful but changeling was just a tad too long for my taste.
um. my life is really boring now...not that it wasn't before.

that is all.

which one?

2009-04-29T03:01:00.000-07:00

Since it's already past 3 a.m. and I still have not started spanish homework, I am going to blog. I had several topics in mind, including bad movies, Chuck, AP tests, class officer elections, senior year, etc, but I haven't decided what I will write about today.

Let's see......

I found out that I am the only senior in both of Esquivel's spanish classes. So he now has to write an examen final especial just because of me. Hah sucka, that's what you get for my shitty year of spanish. "You can take your flag, your job and shove it." "Ditto." I love Chuck so much - best show hands down. Maybe after Friends.

I'm supposed to write and memorize this paper thing and draw something for spanish. As I do not speak/read/write in spanish, nor do I draw, I find this project impossible to complete, let alone begin.

I hate bubble shooter and I have decided that I will talk about bad movies.

1. If you kill off the main character at the end of your movie, you better have a damn good reason for doing so. Why was it necessary to kill off Rory in Rory O'Shea Was Here and Marley in Marley & Me? I think both movies could have found much, much better endings that freaking include the main character.

2. Science Fiction genre just fails in general. I don't care whether it's got anacondas, extra-terrestrial creatures, giant apes, water creatures, etc, or a combination of these. It's not that I don't enjoy this particular genre; I've watched countless Sci-Fi movies with my dad when all he ever watched was the Sci-Fi channel. It's just that these movies are so ridiculously unreal that it takes too much effort for me, the audience, to get any sense of connection with the movie.

3. Don't have crazy flashbacks. These are cheesy, cheap, desperate ways to let the audience know something. Flashbacks seem amateur to me, especially when they're done to end the movie (ahem, Next).

4. If your movie is going to be a sad movie, don't end with a sad ending. If I've cried through the whole movie, I do NOT want to end a movie crying. Make me smile at least at the end of the movie, like a Walk to Remember does. If you still want to end with a sad ending, it better be a hella legit sad ending.

more to come - brain is shot.
time for coffee.

fail.

2009-04-17T13:37:00.000-07:00

I finally figured out how to post new posts.

But I lost the spark to blog.

so bbl!

number 3

2009-04-14T11:59:00.000-07:00

what's the female version of a hustla??

draught of living death...or just dead?

2009-03-01T19:54:00.000-08:00

today i went to another csf event, some west bay opera thing in palo alto at the lucie stern community center. it was one of those community service activities that i hate which basically includes all activities involving any sort of heavy lifting and hand dirtying. oh the horror! the theater had just finished their production of orfeo et euridice (orpheus and eurydice, the greek myth) and we were basically helping them clean up. during this event, i had some deep thoughts. epiphanies if you will. (this is of course, all subjective because some people are more critical of what is deep and what isn't). first, i realized how chaotic the theatre business really is. all the things you hear about how it's so much work yadda yadda is true. there's so much backstage stuff involved like lights, cables, and props. so much goes on, it's really quite mind-boggling. it was actually pretty amazing (sort of) watching all these technicians scurry around with all these hardware tools and figuring out all this electrical equipment. in addition, i realized how freaking dangerous it is to work backstage, especially during a show when it is pitch black and you can't see where you're going. there is so much complicated equipment, heavy and dangerously sharp objects, and all these tall rafters that you could just fall off of. it was such organized chaos (oxymoron!)

but then i realized, these are probably all uneducated, closet perverts, and zombies who tell themselves that working in the theater business is a fulfilling life when it obviously isn't. these are the people that will say they dreamed of working in the theatre business but probably failed at acting and had to deal with settling for the backstage hellhole. these are the people who have no lives, wander job to job on minimum wage, and live in loser apartments in the hood. and as if that wasn't already enough, they were all ugly, fat, white, and smelly people who obviously failed at life. now i kinda understand why an education is so important. i really really really don't want to be like them. i want to have a nice job where i don't have to get my hands dirty or lift heavy objects in disgusting, dusty, obviously rat-infested facilities. it's not that the people there weren't nice to us, because they were. they were very cordial and patient with us. it's just that i really don't envy their apparently meaningless lives. i don't want to have sweat dripping down my forehead with my t-shirt v-stained with sweat and working with a bunch of dumb country hicks whose highlight of the day is getting to eat some oily pizza. i want to at least work in a place where personal hygiene is normal, a place where people care about the way they look and wear some freaking deodorant. i mean please. you're fat, hairy, and going to be running around. let's put two and two together people. one plus one equals two. nope. that's not the life i want. you know, maybe they do find some sort of weird fulfillment or satisfaction with their job. if they do, well i'm happy for them. but after watching them work, i don't think i would if i was in their place. their lives just seem to have no purpose, no direction. they were alive but so unmistakably dead at the same time. i can just imagine the technicians coming in one day and finding one of their coworkers hanging from the rafters. that's just kind of bleak and morbid. plus, there was this one girl/guy who was a freaking midget and was maybe a shemale. she/he was so weird looking, i couldn't even tell what gender he/she was. maybe both? or not. he/she had some weird beard thing going on, dressed like a man, but had...boobs? or was that fat? was that a feminine, high pitched voice, or was it low and masculine? i don't even remember. it was basically awkward, confusing, and weird not knowing whether to call a him or her, a mr or ms, and a he or she. just...weeeeird.

to conclude, read those ap lit books people. getting an education is important so turn in your physics work so you don't regret it. you know who you are. this isn't subtle at all. whatevs.

until next time.

Yum, delicious!

2009-03-01T17:01:00.001-08:00

So after spending the last three days doing nothing productive despite my mountain high work load, I read the new posts updated by the twins and laughed in that way where a slow grin spreads across your face and then your teeth show and then you kinda open your mouth slightly to laugh aloud and then the next phrase makes me go wtf so your face goes to a frown. Repeat 17 times, give or take three.

Anyways, catching up on sleep is always so delicious. I slept 13 hours in a row on friday-saturday and eight saturday-sunday. And in those hours, I've been having so many crazyass dreams that when my mom wakes me up I always hold some sort of sleep-talk conversation. Take for example, the one I had with her last night:

(So, here, I'm sleeping out on my couch because I fell asleep pretending to read As I Lay Dying)
Mom: Yoona, wake up. Go wash up so you can go to bed.
Yoona: Mhmm.
Mom: Com'on. Get going.
Yoona: No, mom. I didn't do it!
Mom: What?
Yoona: (really loudly and defiantly) I didn't do it.
Mom: ...
Yoona: YEAH. Take that.
Mom: okay, go wash up.
Yoona: I DIDN'T DO IT.
Mom: I know you didn't do it. I believe you. Let's go brush our teeth together, okay?
Yoona: OK. (I get up and go brush my teeth and a minute later, I'm like....Hi mom. Why am I in the bathroom with a toothbrush in my hand...?)
Obviously, this story was recounted by my mom who is so used to this stuff happening. And I have no idea what dream I was referring to when I so defiantly denied godknowswhat.

Sleep is delicious!

Speaking of As I Lay Dying, I want to admit that I haven't read the book fully at all. PHEW. That's right your mofos. I only found out in class on thursday that Addie was a little slut. I've only read up to page 61 out of 261. I just flipped to the end of the book to see what page it ends on, and I think it's interesting that it ends with Cash. I think I'll bring this up in class tomorrow and see how that flies. So I've only fully read and annotated upto page 61 and the rest of the book, I skimmed or asked people for summaries. And I've taken these bits of information to form general ideas, just found new ways to regurgitate the same information or I've formed strong emotional decisions about certain events or characters so that I won't sit there mute and dumb (no offense to those who do, since you guys get the grade even with out your participation grade).

ANYWAY (ooh, I think I put anywayS for the one up there. Too bad, I'm not scrolling back up.), yesterday, my parents made me bring three sheets of scratch paper, since I collect them religiously regardless of size, and sat me down with a map and made me draw my own. I didn't know where El Camino Real was and that got my mom pretty bad. The only street names I knew, I had to connect them to a food spot. Prospect=way back to school from MickeyDs, Frutti, Jack'sBox, Pizzamy<3, etc. Bollinger=Safeway, Burgerking. And that's where our sad list of lunches usually comes to a stop. Oh, Tacobell. Where's that. .............................................................................................................................Bollinger? no.
u
m
De Anza
no it's Bollinger. I'm pretty sure.
Yeah, so the test was really stupid and I just sulked through the whole thing.

I'm hungry, what's for dinner.
I need to read for lit and take care of hellllllllla physics shiz.

soiled flesh.

2009-02-28T22:37:00.000-08:00

today we went on an epic journey. though we felt like turning back many times, i guess you could say we kept our eyes on the prize. being the little wannabe bamf that i am (i admit), i attempted to cross raging, white water rapids with car keys and a little sheep in my hands. i was confident my wizard blood would carry me through. if i were a mudblood, i would not have attempted. i trusted in the heart of the cards baby.

remember the bridge of khazad-dum. yes, quite like that. unfortunately, i was hit by an orcish arrow and fell. like gandalf off the bridge (not as poignant the more i watch it btw). my body was not engulfed by flames however. instead, it was covered with a lawn of bacteria and protozoa. i could feel them entering my ears, eager to feast on my soft brain tissue. i felt them growing on my pant legs. i felt them spawning on my new jacket. i felt disgusting. AND my butt was wet. so that was gross too. i felt like mfj's wife after sex. because i am the person i am, i was instantly like "fly you fools!" but they didnt listen. they were eaten by pandas.

anyhoo, i went home and took a shower. then i played blockles with some fuckers for around 7 hours. great! and tomorrow i think im going to a birthday party. not sure yet.

just to make my day even better, about 10 minutes ago, i was sprawled on a toilet, shitting my lifeforce out. it must have been because i was touched my mudbloods today. because i wasnt bamf enough, i decided to end the pain and shoved my finger up my throat. dinner instantly came rushing out (and gillyweed because i am a little delirious). now my face is pale and my throat burns from all the bile and nastiness floating around in my mouth. but now i shall go to the prefects bathroom and relax.

i blame the bitch at the west san jose community center. if only she had taken that hard, sandpapery stick out of her ass, this day might have been a little better. filthy mudblood. i'm going to cast crucio on her later.

until further conquests mudbloods.

neville longbottom is a.........

2009-02-28T22:14:00.000-08:00

today was a day of many adventures. a bamf-y day if you will. jacq, rachel, spencer, and i went to a csf event this morning that involved taking down illegal signs around san jose. the thing is however, we weren't quite sure which signs were illegal and which ones were not. i guess we should have paid attention during the instructions. like little robbespierres and umbridges we dispensed our own judgment, laying down the law of the land to remove the "blight" of illegal signs from san jose. we wore our orange vests and yellow gloves proudly (or at least i did) , symbols of our uncrushable authority. needless to say, baskins robbins' managers will be "wtfing" today. what's that? yes. heroes is an appropriate adjective. all shall love us and despair. yeah you like that lotr allusion.

it went something like this.

steven: oh look! some judy carr signs. portable signs are illegal. who wants to get them??
everyone else: let's just leave them.
jacqueline: oh shiet. cupertino little league baseball sign. get it!
spencer and rachel: charge!

yes we hate little league baseball. now that i think about it, we should have taken down them damn yellow signs. the real judy carr is dead anyway. the judy carr now is her fatass daughter michelle judy carr, who is technically mooching off her mother's already established empire. a beezy if i ever met one.

anyway, during the surprisingly long activity, we managed to go all around the san jose area, and to all these random places like farmer's market where we ate food with unclean protozoan bacteria covered hands. it was quite exhilarating to go down to the creek in calabazas park to look for ak's panda graffiti; i felt like such a rebel and didn't even get wet unlike a certain loser who thought he could fly. okay, i know what you all are thinking. for your information, rebellious, badass incidents like these are very commonplace in my life. i am a bamf. don't judge. rude.

in other news, i had my interesting princeton interview today. from the start, i was quite nervous about the interview because during the email process, i mistakenly called my interviewer a ms. instead of a mr. his name was ilya okay. i know i know, c&p ilya petrovich, whatever whatever. moving on. my interviewer very uncannily looked like viktor krum...except less bulky and more dark haired. it was quite intimidating actually. plus, he was quite possibly the coolest engineer i have ever met. he was telling me about how he and his friends used to go out and party all the time at the eating clubs which of course made my little excursion earlier seem like a walk in the park which was basically what it was anyway. nevertheless, the rest of it was quite pleasant and fun.

i should read for ap lit. and so should you.

peace.

obliviate

2009-02-27T22:32:00.000-08:00

i've recently started watching this show called dollhouse on fox which is about this organization that wipes people's memories so they can start a new life...but not really. after being wiped, these people can be "imprinted" with different personas to serve the various purposes of the incredible wealthy. however, the people, when not imprinted, wander the building aimlessly, with no purpose or personality. they essentially have the mind of a child, a completely clean slate if you will. of course, the "treatment" has all sort of adverse side effects and some of the people go crazy cutting people up and making a bloody mess. basically, its my type of show. in the background, there's some fbi guy trying to discover the dollhouse because there are suspicions of human trafficking. the show is surprisingly interesting, fresh, and very engaging. it's directed by the guy who made buffy and those vampire yadda yadda supernatural shows but it's actually very clever and new. plus, it shows on friday night which means i can actually watch it on a big screen. idk why but fox gives the show special treatment and limits commercials to 60 and 90 secs only! you should watch it. i think it's on hulu, and i saw for the first time, another one of those funny alec baldwin hulu commercials, but this time with the star of dollhouse. exciting.

today's assassin was so nerve wracking. it was so unbelievably stressful being wracked with paranoia at the prospect of someone coming over, snipping my balloons strings, or popping one of my precious balloons. i was planning on going to safeway at 6 and having my parents go down and buy the balloons for me just in case my killer (either andrea or robert! crazy ass power couple) was there waiting. instead, when the time came, my parents, being the kind people they are, decided to let me sleep in and got the balloons for me. in hindsight, i should have sucked it up and gone with them, got my balloons, and waited for the slight chance that my target would go get some balloons in that plaza. shoulda coulda woulda.

im so glad this week is almost over. it's been hell.

laters

in my nature?

2009-02-25T19:05:00.000-08:00

It's 7:06 and I sit here in the furthest corner from the Silent Room entrance in the West Valley Library. My purpose in coming to the library was to start and finish my chapter 17 homework packet for physics class and also to learn what the hell chapter 17 is about, because I have a test on it. So after getting hella efffing lost on my way here and realizing that I didn't even bring my Holt Physics textbook, I sat down in my seat around 4:30. And in the past two and a half hours, I've done four problems on worksheet 17A, cleaned out my ripped blue-matte folder, organized its contents by classes, put all the papers back into my ripped folder, ate an apple, memorized the Coulomb constant, and started a formula card with three equations on it. I have not watched a single episode of any of my shows; I haven't spent any time searching for Sarah Walker (Yvonne Stohvski)'s red and blue dresses; I haven't talked on the phone or chatted with anyone for an extensive amount of time.

All my pms-emotions allow for me to do is sigh. Maybe I'll go home and have a good cry in the privacy of my room, but as for now, my hormones are making me sigh like I'm having an asthma attack. I'm trying to balance this down-low mood of mine by listening to rap and my playlist is currently playing "No W" by Flobots. I can't understand what the song is about, but it's great. Oooh, I just heard "hip hop" and that is the only word that I distinctively heard on this song.

In the midst of my asthma attack-like mood, I ask my self, why do I still give a shit about school? I mean, really. My grades don't matter and I don't feel like I'm learning anything crucial to my life. I appreciate what we're doing in Lit and I do care about that class, it's just that I haven't been reading much lately. So my conclusion is that it's in my nature to care about school. Not enough for me to achieve perfect records (although, I'd like to argue that I did try pretty hard. I just don't have enough brains, endurance, long enough of an attention span or self discipline.), but too much for me to completely let go.

Yeah, completely letting go would probably be bad. Because I guess that means being a high school drop out. Hm, maybe it's not in my nature. Maybe it's just my brains understanding that being a high school drop out would ruin my life. Oh, yeah. That's it. Okay, so it's not in my nature to care about school. The reason why I still care about school is that my head fully comprehends the consequences of a high school dropout's life.

Hahhah, okay.

So this has been a pointless post. Sorry for wasting my life and your life.

Well, maybe it hasn't been so pointless at all.

No. It has.

omg please, pms leave me alone
because you make me sigh
and i think ican't un derstand the ra
p that i a m listening to beetlejuice baby
so mothafucka thats why they call me
beetle juice beca
use you make me sig hso much

I think I'd make a horrible Faulkner. And that poet who never used any correct punctuations or grammar.

"Beetle Juice" by Charles Hamilton.

I blame it all on PMS. Hahaha I remember that Erin once showed me a magnet that she has, which says, "My biggest fear is that PMS doesn't exist and that this is my real personality." Well, that's certainly not my biggest fear, but the thought certainly does scare me.

I blame it all on PMS. The library closes in 30 minutes, and now I can add "I blogged for like 10 25 minutes" on my what-I-did-at-the-library list.

fureakin pms.

accio zyrtec.

2009-02-24T22:52:00.000-08:00

my nose has indicated to me that it is allergy season again
symptoms are as follows: sniffles, runny nose, water snot, itchy/burning eyes,
as a result, i sometimes feel the need to take one of those fireplace tools with the nice hook, heat it up till its nice and white, and shove that thing up my nostrils so i can burn away the impurities.

sadly, that is not possible so i have to settle for meds. because its not in my head. it really isnt. i would take claritin so my life could be claritin clear! but im allergic to it. oh the irony.

i have noticed, it is easy to write incomplete sentences on this. i relish the opportunity.

on a side note, this is a conversation i envision happening.

spencer: can i have a michew?
justina: no. michael chu is mine.
spencer: he looks like a llama.
justina: just stfu (because im not ready to taint the blog by writing it out). (pirouette away)

today was amazing but my life is wreaked with a shadow of paranoia.
anyhoo. i have a big stats test tomorrow. to not do well =mr. iams has managed to defeat me.
failure is an option but it is not to be chosen.

FtR or Reject?

2009-02-24T22:35:00.000-08:00

Today, i got kicked off of the Tetris high-score board on my own calculator. Even though I didn't make that big of a deal at the time, that hurt me a lot. I need to practice more!

Friends with benefits. That's all I'm hearing about lately. I've heard four stories of such a thing in the past week. I get that if it benefits both...parties, shall I say?... then it's all jolly. But I disagree. I think it's just asking for drama because it's just too easy for emotions to get involved, and if you have time and the effort for drama, then go spend it for a better cause, si? If both parties think that they can keep their emotions clear out of the way, then fine. But I assure you that STDs will catch up with you soon, and if they don't, then one of these days, a bird will see your head and consider it a fine place for its droppings. Yes, so I say REJECT.

Anyway (because anyways is apparently not a word), I hope for world peace.
I hope that Obama can really accomplish all he said in his speech today; he is one hell of a speaker. I hope that I can soon again overtake the high-score board on my calculator and I think I'll never let Gabe or Rachel touch my calculator ever again.

OH and omhmygad. This damn virus named Trojan. Virtumod.1636 needs to effing get out of my effing life.

SSS ftw.
Oh and FtR stands for Fail to Reject.

the woes of being a freaking muggle.

2009-02-24T21:55:00.000-08:00

yesterday i spent the whole afternoon reading harry potter stuff on wikipedia. it all started with finishing the tales of beedle the bard. everything was so fresh and exciting and i watched the beauxbaton and durmstrang entrance from GOF over and over on youtube. talk about epic. the "sons of durmstrang" did this super complex breakdance/gymnastics thingamajig at the end that was so cool. watch it. dont be hating cuz they teach dark magic. international magic cooperation people.

if only i wasnt a muggle. the title of this post very aptly summarizes this post. if only if only. i think that's from holes? that weird gypsy song the people sing about the woodpecker blah blah black kid something something? or am i just crazy. i have bad memory in case you didnt know that.

moving on. ive been thinking about this for a while but i wish i took french instead of spanish. spanish is such a useless language. sure i can talk/mildly understand my gardeners and the people that work at chipotle but still, such an ugly language. french is so much more flowery, romantic... refined. its a civilized language. spanish just sounds like peasant poor indigenous people talk. im not racist or anything; it's just a fact.

anyway. now i have this disgusting consuming urge to reread the whole hp series. its not that the books are super fantastic. i mean really. the whole love thing is kinda lame and harrys a freaking pussy that needs to grow a pair. dont even get me started on ron. useless much? hermione ftw. i just like the whole idea of the world and the lifestyle and all that jazz. but anyhoo too bad for steven of the chens because i only have books 4-7 which means if i want to reread the series i have to go to the library or borrow them from someone. AND i own none of the movies. im the worst fan ever. crucio me or something...or not cuz YOU'RE ALL FILTHY MUGGLES like me. boo.

anyway today's bball game was kinda epic. rachel of the chos totally missed out on the super intense exciting action. now im just being mean and rubbing it in.

props to my best buds rachel and jacqueline for being trendsetters. yee.

real indian cheese.

2009-02-24T15:19:00.000-08:00

i don't have anything against ethnic films. really.

actually, fine. maybe a little but after seeing the promotional poster for slumdog millionaire, i have decided i may never watch this oscar-winning film. because this is the first post on this new blog (white as snow, not racially) i will not soil this beautiful minimalist theme with a picture.
anyhoo.

since the movie is about this kid who goes on who wants to be a millionaire (indian edition), on the promo thing they ask "what does it take to find a lost love?" with four answer choices. money, smarts, luck, and destiny. here's the problem. the obvious answer they want me to choose is...destiny. that's it. enough said. not watching. the fact they even put that answer on the poster is just off-putting, corny, and cheesy. alrightey muggles.

the other day i learned a very funny/scandalous story i am not at liberty to discuss. i think the suspense is very tantalizing. but now i totally look at a certain individual in a completely different light. its quite disgusting. i am reminded of leprechauns and sea-cows. slumdog millionaire too disgustingly enough. alrightey.
free pancakes at ihop today. i dont like pancakes but i will be going anyway. anyways is not a word.

anyway