we are born and die alone.
so why the hell do we care so much about what other people think?
why do we let our worth be defined by what someone else thinks?
live for yourself and to anyone who has a problem with that, fuck them.
suck it suckers.

life

it's as if you forget it's happening until you stop to think about it in a little more than two years i'll have graduated and be onto the next stage of my life which scares me shitless because it only gets harder from here and who knows what i'll be doing or want to be doing or think about doing and will i be happy doing whatever i'm doing and will i regret not doing something else and if that something else may have been more lucrative if i could do it all over again would i and is it sad if i say yes sometimes i think about the things i regret the time i've wasted the time im wasting now and if i had been doing something else in that time how different would it all be how different would my life be if i had made different choices if i had decided to do this or that or decide to be there instead of here and stuff sort of off topic but i think people complain too much about their lives and forget to be thankful for what they have some people are incredibly ungrateful and myopic and are stuck in the now then there are some people who like to hear their own voice like engineers who think they're the shit even though they're really not and just better at math and stuff like really we all have tests and stuff what makes yours any different and the same thing with people complaining about midterms and finals i mean you go to college what did you honestly expect i mean we go to college to learn not that i dont complain and stuff but taking tests is sort of fun when you're actually doing the test and know all the answers and stuff and when you dont the satisfaction of figuring it out and i guess it sucks when you don't but everything is a learning experience and you really do learn from your mistakes i guess the only part i don't like is the anticipation but once you get there and are sitting with it in front of you i always feel so serene because nothing else matters except for you and the test and all your hard work and effort pays off hopefully and you know thats really all you can ask for when it comes to that sort of stuff you do your best and sometimes your best isn't good enough and if it isn't you just try harder and spend more time next time and i really should learn to not get so hung up on certain things that really in the big picture are quite small i wonder where we'll all be in 20 30 years will there ever be peace in the middle east this is why i don't like the middle east because they are always fighting about something are they genetically hardwired to be more belligerent and violent and the way they treat each other and other people and women is simply horrible i really am thankful i live in the us where i have so many freedom and rights and im also glad im not a woman living there not that theres anything wrong with being woman because im not misogynistic or anything but i feel so sorry for them i read this quote from some egyptian who basically said something long the lines that he didn't care who takes over the government as long as they upheld the old arabic laws which basically restricts freedom of religion and women's rights i mean how freaking selfish is that and i also think the us should try and get more involved even though the us is always getting involved in things it really shouldn't be but egypt is one of the biggest countries in the middle east and next to so many important and unstable countries and if bad people take it over it can't be good for the already super fucked up region im also so incredibly thankful for my parents who love me so much and sacrifice so much for me without ever asking for anything in return and who always support me no matter what it may be and im so fortunate to have grown up in the family that i did which makes me very homesick but i really hope that i can be rich and have a good career so i can start to pay back my parents even though what they have done is priceless its also chinese new years and i always liked chinese new years at home even though i generally dont care that much about my culture and heritage and i think one day i want to have kids because kids are kind of like pets but harder to take care of and cost more money but sometimes i think kids are only cute when they're young and when they grow up and start to think about things and have their opinion they get annoying especially because kids are generally quite selfish and only think about themselves but of course they are plenty of people who are also like that and are super selfish and only think about themselves and especially i think sometimes guys who think they're hella entitled to certain things because of they way they were raised especially in families where its like the kid can do no harm and everyone is subservient and like only exist to fill their needs i hate those motherfuckers and there are a lot of those people and i hate people who think they can get anything if they have enough money another thing that is sort of surreal to me is what it wold be like to be a different person with different perspectives and thoughts and life experiences and how we all see the world so differently even though we're all living in the same one life is short i hope i dont waste it and i hope i dont wake up one day wondering how the hell i got there and why im there and not somewhere else i guess i just hope i dont wake up some day full of regrets regrets for what i could have done differently

to look life in the face, always, to look life in the face and to know it for what it is. at last to know it, to love it for what it is, and then, to put it away. - the hours