draught of living death...or just dead?

today i went to another csf event, some west bay opera thing in palo alto at the lucie stern community center. it was one of those community service activities that i hate which basically includes all activities involving any sort of heavy lifting and hand dirtying. oh the horror! the theater had just finished their production of orfeo et euridice (orpheus and eurydice, the greek myth) and we were basically helping them clean up. during this event, i had some deep thoughts. epiphanies if you will. (this is of course, all subjective because some people are more critical of what is deep and what isn't). first, i realized how chaotic the theatre business really is. all the things you hear about how it's so much work yadda yadda is true. there's so much backstage stuff involved like lights, cables, and props. so much goes on, it's really quite mind-boggling. it was actually pretty amazing (sort of) watching all these technicians scurry around with all these hardware tools and figuring out all this electrical equipment. in addition, i realized how freaking dangerous it is to work backstage, especially during a show when it is pitch black and you can't see where you're going. there is so much complicated equipment, heavy and dangerously sharp objects, and all these tall rafters that you could just fall off of. it was such organized chaos (oxymoron!) 

but then i realized, these are probably all uneducated, closet perverts, and zombies who tell themselves that working in the theater business is a fulfilling life when it obviously isn't. these are the people that will say they dreamed of working in the theatre business but probably failed at acting and had to deal with settling for the backstage hellhole. these are the people who have no lives, wander job to job on minimum wage, and live in loser apartments in the hood. and as if that wasn't already enough, they were all ugly, fat, white, and smelly people who obviously failed at life. now i kinda understand why an education is so important. i really really really don't want to be like them. i want to have a nice job where i don't have to get my hands dirty or lift heavy objects in disgusting, dusty, obviously rat-infested facilities. it's not that the people there weren't nice to us, because they were. they were very cordial and patient with us. it's just that i really don't envy their apparently meaningless lives. i don't want to have sweat dripping down my forehead with my t-shirt v-stained with sweat and working with a bunch of dumb country hicks whose highlight of the day is getting to eat some oily pizza. i want to at least work in a place where personal hygiene is normal, a place where people care about the way they look and wear some freaking deodorant. i mean please. you're fat, hairy, and going to be running around. let's put two and two together people. one plus one equals two. nope. that's not the life i want. you know, maybe they do find some sort of weird fulfillment or satisfaction with their job. if they do, well i'm happy for them. but after watching them work, i don't think i would if i was in their place. their lives just seem to have no purpose, no direction. they were alive but so unmistakably dead at the same time. i can just imagine the technicians coming in one day and finding one of their coworkers hanging from the rafters. that's just kind of bleak and morbid. plus, there was this one girl/guy who was a freaking midget and was maybe a shemale. she/he was so weird looking, i couldn't even tell what gender he/she was. maybe both? or not. he/she had some weird beard thing going on, dressed like a man, but had...boobs? or was that fat? was that a feminine, high pitched voice, or was it low and masculine? i don't even remember. it was basically awkward, confusing, and weird not knowing whether to call a him or her, a mr or ms, and a he or she. just...weeeeird. 

to conclude, read those ap lit books people. getting an education is important so turn in your physics work so you don't regret it. you know who you are. this isn't subtle at all. whatevs. 

until next time.