today we went on an epic journey. though we felt like turning back many times, i guess you could say we kept our eyes on the prize. being the little wannabe bamf that i am (i admit), i attempted to cross raging, white water rapids with car keys and a little sheep in my hands. i was confident my wizard blood would carry me through. if i were a mudblood, i would not have attempted. i trusted in the heart of the cards baby.
remember the bridge of khazad-dum. yes, quite like that. unfortunately, i was hit by an orcish arrow and fell. like gandalf off the bridge (not as poignant the more i watch it btw). my body was not engulfed by flames however. instead, it was covered with a lawn of bacteria and protozoa. i could feel them entering my ears, eager to feast on my soft brain tissue. i felt them growing on my pant legs. i felt them spawning on my new jacket. i felt disgusting. AND my butt was wet. so that was gross too. i felt like mfj's wife after sex. because i am the person i am, i was instantly like "fly you fools!" but they didnt listen. they were eaten by pandas.
anyhoo, i went home and took a shower. then i played blockles with some fuckers for around 7 hours. great! and tomorrow i think im going to a birthday party. not sure yet.
just to make my day even better, about 10 minutes ago, i was sprawled on a toilet, shitting my lifeforce out. it must have been because i was touched my mudbloods today. because i wasnt bamf enough, i decided to end the pain and shoved my finger up my throat. dinner instantly came rushing out (and gillyweed because i am a little delirious). now my face is pale and my throat burns from all the bile and nastiness floating around in my mouth. but now i shall go to the prefects bathroom and relax.
i blame the bitch at the west san jose community center. if only she had taken that hard, sandpapery stick out of her ass, this day might have been a little better. filthy mudblood. i'm going to cast crucio on her later.
until further conquests mudbloods.
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